Change the Rules!?!

Change the Rules!?!

Sometimes I write just to finish a thought or clear up my feelings.

For many years we have lived comfortably according to a Central European code of conduct.  We knew how we ourselves and how others should behave towards us. Practical drawers that helped Central Europeans, Northern Europeans, Southern Europeans, Americans, etc. to define according to cultures, values, principles.

Stop, first insert: the youth.  In waves adapted or applied, they expanded or added something new to our drawers. And yet: all of this signaled a high level of security, even for those who were and are able to question themselves and the system in a highly reflective and related manner.

And now: the VUCA world has completely changed our ideas and reinforced them by a month-long pandemic and migrations.

Our rules of the game are still valid now?  I don’t think so.

But what comes instead?  Is something coming instead?

Can I be polite when psychotic narcissists abuse me?  Do I have to maintain composure?  Or better to show barriers, boundaries?

Crises – and as such we can call the current Corona situation – are not only a test for and on characters, but also something like a relationship maker.  We recognized the value of trust and loyalty, but also what loss of control and dealing with uncertainty do for dialogue and cooperation.

Who was and is there for us, who supports and strengthens common tasks, projects and who shares responsibility with us – regardless of previous agreements and obligations – in the professional and private context.

Who believes that they can use us as lightning rods, as soul buckets for games that are mainly intended to compensate for their own insecurities?

And who can see himself as a constant even in unpredictable times, clearly also in the “fog”, curious and friendly in the new?

Let’s actively change the rules of and the perspective on the game.

We have learned: Relationship is everything, more than contracts, more than strategic goals, and more than unachievable goals.  Relationship is communication and relationship is future.

So: what behavior, what attitude is appropriate with regard to the new, old, hybrid, analog, digital system changes?  What or who wins the upper hand: the identity of individuals, of (structural or functional) organizations versus differences in any form.

Much of the previously valid behavior needs to be revised:

– Reflection on what is valuable and important also in our relationships

– Discarding reflexes and getting to know your own patterns

– Orientation towards development and growth – more on the inside than on the economic outside

– Learn to communicate clearly, in a friendly and understandable way and to take people with you into the new era.

– Respect that not everyone pulls in the same direction and

– Go further and allow change, even better, help shape it.

Responsibility begins with us for us and is then a prerequisite for smart relationships – also at the cost of demarcation and self-protection.

If we move towards a systemic-constructivistic understanding, we know about the second order cybernetics (Heinz von Förster) and the impossibility of completely detaching ourselves from the partiality of the observed system.  And yet, distance is good and also the clarity to address and express your own needs.

This is the only way we can grow out of this crisis with the feeling that we know exactly who we can rely on – and with whom we therefore want to continue to work and laugh together in the future.

We wish you a very comfortable and safe summer, take care and start dialoguing with us on your experiences,

Regards, Barbara & Michel

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